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Friday, August 10, 2018

Exercise in Futility

Tonight my kids were playing out in the 85 degree evening during the sun set and discovered TWO baby birds being carried around by our big cat, Bear. They younger three are 12, 10 and 4 now and they immediately had to rescue the birds...what else could they do?!

They begged me to let them keep them in a box in their room and since I was busy writing a blog post I said, "oh sure, girls, but you know they WILL die...so be prepared". I couldn't stop them from being their little compassionate selves. It's a part of growing up. Trying to save a bird and it dying. Also the 10-year-old is a veracious reader. She remembered the instructions that she read in her "how to take care of your cat" book and remembered how to even care for the birds the cats try killing...so really, who am I to argue?

My husband asked me why I let them, since they will die. I basically said, "I don't know! I couldn't tell them no!" (hands over face and also not mentioning that I wasn't paying super close attention...) He said, "this is an exercise in futility". I love that he says such smart things like this in just regular everyday conversation. He told the girls that he tried doing the same thing as a boy but they must prepare themselves for the death of these birds.

We just went though this ourselves just two months ago. One of our cats had a little of kittens and one of them was stupid and fell out of a tree one evening. Well the darn thing broke it's leg and, as long as we have been married, have always vowed to never spend money on pets/mousers/working animals. But when that darn vet was getting ready to inject him and put him down with out really letting me make the decision, I said, "can I just call my husband first please?!" Hubby and I decided to let the doc amputate the leg which would have been the cheapest option of helping it live but the doctor decided to put a pin in and assured me it wouldn't cost extra. Well after the leg healed a month, there was a major blockage in his little intestine and he couldn't be saved. We finally had to let him go and we buried him in our yard.

In retrospect our case was also an exercise in futility, but what else were we to do?! God has given us the means to pay for a not outrageously expensive little baby cat surgery and God gave us that sweet little baby kitty. Neither one of us felt right about putting him down immediately with out giving him a chance. If we were poor then sure...we shouldn't spend the money. But we're not poor and we decided to try saving the little booger...but it just didn't work out. I cried when I said by to him. I had allowed myself to get attached after we decided to fix his leg. He was going to be our little indoor house cat buddy and my husband and I both loved his temperament. He loved to cuddle with him and me. We both pretended like it was a burden to pay for and keep this silly kitten, but inside we were both looking forward to loving him for a long time. We got one month. So I'm thankful for that. But writing this is making me teary again...but it's probably good to finally have closure.

I didn't want to get attached to animals after I had my kids. They die too fast. It's sad to loose them. I hate the book Old Yeller, who writes these things?! I actually hated the movie and refused to read the book....I talked to the girls about it just today...why read a book so sad? I think I'm extra sensitive, I'm not sure. It's ok though. I tried being tough for a lot of years but that didn't work out well...I'm trying to be who God made me. And that's a sensitive person and that's ok.

I'm sure this won't be the last exercise in futility the girls make, but that's ok too. They're my sweet girls and it's better to be compassionate and hopeful than to immediately write the creatures off as dead and discard them in the woods or let the cat have them for his supper. At least that's what I think.



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