Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Where I have been...

In October 2013 I found out that we were having another baby.

I miscarried three years ago and have not talked about it much. It was hard. This pregancy was much quieter because I learned with my one miscarrage how terrible it is to have someone six months into a supposed pregancy ask you when you are due...then you must tell them you had miscarried. That well-intentioned person will then feel horrible and want to change the subject by talking about how they had a friend who miscarried thinking that that will lighten the mood. It doesn't. After this happens a few times you vow to yourself that you will not tell a single soul that you're pregnant the next go-around.

So, since October I have been gestating a new life...and that's about it. Other than trying to keep myself alive by eating when I don't want to...and trying to keep my business afloat. Basically hubby and the kids have done a lot of fending for themselves and the house has all but gone to pot.

With my first six kids I was full of all sorts of piss and vinegar in my second and third trimesters. I have had amazing pregnancies, thus have six amazing children to show for it and never have felt the need to stop. I had serious motivation, serious creativity, serious crazy ideas (that were good). With this one, I'm older (my youngest daughter will be turning six when this baby's born) and this baby is sucking my brains out of my head and the life out of my body...not that I'm complaining, I know it's all worth it. My second trimester has been very tiring and I have done a lot of resting (thanks to my awesome hubby and kids).

Today something happened. I was standing in church this morning and I wanted to write a blog post. I have thought of a few during the past few months, but the idea of actually concentrating on something for that long seemed very daunting and never actually happened. I thought about what I wanted to write about, I have it all planned out in my head, sort of. It will be titled, "Small children, small problems; Big children, big problems." Based on some great advice I got from a friend about 5 years ago now. Being in church is great, I really should be praying, but the reality is that I don't usually do much of that, but I do think about stuff.

When I got home, guess what happened? I turned into super Nazi mom and started making the kids pick up the nasty house. And vaccum, and CLEAN the stuff that should have been done already. I inspected their rooms, had one clean the school room, I even took a giant pile of paper that was to be burned and shredded the whole thing 'cause I'm tired of it getting scattered around the living room. I moved all the jars and junk that have been collecting dust in the dining room the past 6 months and put stuff away and dusted and made my dining room look nice again. Hubby, who took this week off (Holy Week) asked me if I'd suddnely entered into my third trimester because I was going crazy (the good kind). I realized that if July 27th is my due date, the 3rd trimester is only about a week away.

The house is now clean, and here I sit, writing a blog post. Crazy for sure. Perhaps I'm not destined to be unmotivated for this whole pregnancy after all...

Even if I am, that's ok. At least we got a lot done today and I'm happy about that. I can actually have company on Saturday with a bit more confidence in my ability at being a homemaker.

Baby bump as of now.