Christmas break and the dreaded week after

I can not express how much I love Christmas break. This year was better than ever because I decided to take a full two weeks off and to not even THINK about school 'till it was over. A couple times when the kids seemed stir crazy I considered giving them school to keep busy, but quickly forced those demonic thoughts out of my head and told them to play more video games or watch another movie. We enjoyed our break, IMMENSELY. 

Starting school again after Christmas break is always rough.

This week...has been hellish.

This is the week all those homeschooling moms say, "why do I do this again?" and by the weekend are ready to lay in bed for two days straight after drinking themselves into a stopper because on Friday they started drinking at noon to just make the pain go away.

I have come up with some neat tips and tricks that you can tuck into your ammo vest, this list was compiled mostly with what not to do methods I discovered by doing them. That's how I roll.

Firstly (for the kids) DON'T constantly loose your temper at them right away in the week (like I did: do as I say, not as I do) . If you've come down with a nasty fever/cold like I got, perhaps TAKE A SICK DAY as much as humanly possible or you will be an even more wicked witch than you normally are and nobody benefits from it. In fact, I have a feeling that anything you wanted them to learn that day will be eternally blocked from their memory because it was taught on such a traumatic day, so it won't matter anyway.

TRY even harder this week to be EXTRA CALM. This will benefit you, I promise. A calm mother helps to calm her children. Even if that means calmly duct taping your 4-year-old mouth shut and sticking her in a closet, that's fine. After all, she has soooo many new songs she wants to sing after watching an exorbitant amount of NetFlix cartoons during your 2 week vacation.

Use bribery. Again, something I totally forgot about 'till today, Friday (the booze helped me to remember). Bribe with all that 50% off candy you bought the day after Christmas, that's right, chuck your no sugar rules OUT THE WINDOW this week! Bribe with their new video games that you just screamed at told them they couldn't play for a year because they weren't getting their school done. Coax them by cutting out problems in their math, after all, they are all just. so. repetitive. 

Stay in your pajamas. One less thing to do. It's a good thing. (this is one of the things I DID do this week)

Extra coffee. Well, duh.

Make good food as much as you can. I know, I know, this is hard. But, it reminds your kids that you can actually be kind and they may even thank you for your delicious food when you sit down to eat as a family. Also, feed yourself!!! This is one of my biggest mistakes, but forgetting to eat makes for an extra chafed mama.

Try to get at least one date night in during this week. You need a break from your kids but an even bigger reason is that they need a break from YOU! Go out with your husband, your girlfriends, or yourself. Doesn't matter.

Apologize to your family (individually). If you had the week from hell like I did, take a few minutes to tell them how hard it was for all of you and how very sorry you are for loosing your temper so often. Also praise them for the great job they did in spite of having such a rough week. This goes a long way. Include a hug for good measure. Remember that you're not only their teacher but also their mom, your job is to nurture as well as teach. Something I often forget.

Buy extra pencils just for this week. Sharpen them, leave them in jars on your table. (thank you Amber for this tip) They will inevitably: drop, loose, snort, eat, destroy, disappear and break THOUSANDS of pencils during this week in order to avoid doing their work. Don't let those pencils win.

Air horn. Brilliant. Thanks, Aimee.

Don't shower. Again, less to do for you. (did do, don't tell)

And that just about sums up the practical tips that I have after my week is now over (mostly) and my brain suddenly makes it's grand appearance after being in hiding all week long. I shall try to read my tips BEFORE school begins after next years Christmas break. But I probably won't. I think I'm doomed to repeat this cycle for the next 12 years that I will be homeschooling my children. 10 years down, just 12 to go!!! If you have tips to add PLEASE indulge us! Add them to the comments below.

And don't forget, sweet mothers-at-your-wits-end, homeschooling is a sacrifice and a choice you made to benefit your children. Wear your yoga pants-greasy hair-no makeup badge proudly. And remember my wise husband's motto that helps me be a better, and less worried homeschooling mother:

"It's our job to screw up our kids education, not the government's. Have faith that even if we have some failings, we WILL do a better job than someone else can with our God given children."

He also asks regularly:

"Honey, would you like a beer or some chocolate?"

What a wise man.

This is a fairly good image except for the mom's cute top, clean apron and dressed children...what homeschooed kid 4 and under wears all clothes at all times?? And look at the little girls' hair, it's BRUSHED. Psh. Unrealistic.

Disclaimer: Please realize that this post is VERY tounge-in-cheek. I want to stress how much I adore my children and love them dearly. I'm the best mom they could have and I would never actually do anything to harm them. Please don't take this post too seriously. I personally think it's silly to have to say this, but wise husband has encouraged me to regardless.

Cardamom Bread: memories, thoughts and a recipe

One of my favorite treats at Christmas or Pascha is cardamom bread. It's been a favorite since I was little.

Before we were Orthodox we belonged to the EOC (Evangelical Orthodox Church). My mom had been part of the Campus Crusade for Christ movement (if I have my facts straight) and moved to Alaska to join her brothers. It was a group of churches in Alaska, Washington, California, Chicago, etc. Based in the home church idea trying to get back to basics and more liturgical. My dad was the pastor for our small home church and we would partake of communion in our home or in a neighbor's house. The bread that we ate every Sunday was cardamom bread. I won't ever forget it. It was sweet and had a flavor from heaven. When I was ten we joined the Orthodox Church of Antioch, we established a real Orthodox parish with a very tight knit community and though my dad was offered the priesthood, he declined after careful consideration.

The cardamom bread was traded in for actual Prosphora baked weekly by women in the parish. It did not have the sweet heavenly taste that our memorable braided bread did, but this was the bread of the Church.

The cardamom bread was still highly regarded in our community. It had special meaning to us. We had not discarded our past but brought it with us into our new Orthodox life. The cardamom bread loaves was baked by the dozen for special occasions and served as special treats. It was traded as a commodity at bake sales and given as gifts for Christmas.

Reading about the origins of cardamom bread it seems to come from Sweden and Finland. This makes sense, since many of us were only a few generations removed from settlers from those lands. My maiden name was Johnson and my grandparents are Fin-Swedes. I'm sure my family wasn't the only one in the church who was of Nordic decent. After all, this group of young people had chosen Alaska to put down roots and start families. Climate very similar to Sweden. It's funny to think about how the Antiochiocian Orthodox Church is the one who decided to allow hundreds of Swede Evangelicals into their very Arab dominated and very NON Evangelical church.

Our bishop is from the old land in Syria, he loves us, he takes good care of us white converts and asked us yesterday to raise up our children to become priests and bishops because we can't always get bishops from Syria. They are currently in a very turbulent war and the Christians have been scattered. He visits us here in Alaska every year, in the coldest time of year, during Christmas. The priest in our small parish is of Assyrian decent. His grandparents and father fled from Iran when his father was young. He loves us, he takes very good care of us white necks (there's not much sun up here). He is extremely well read and gifted with language, he teaches his children, and sometimes mine, the Aramaic language; that was the language that our Christ spoke when he walked this earth.

In the Greek tradition they have their Tsoureki and the Russians have their Kulich. Baked for Pascha (the Resurrection of Christ) full of milk, eggs, sugar and goodness. But those of us who had any childhood in an X - EOC parish still love a big hunk of cardamom bread on any day of the year. For me...especially on Christmas.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas.

And as we Orthodox say: Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

Cardamom Bread from the St. John's Cookbook
-2 loaf recipe

1/2 c butter
2/3 c sugar -cream these together
2 eggs        -beat in eggs
add to the top of the creamed goodness but don't mix yet:
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cardamom
1/2 c dry milk
2 pkg yeast
2 cups flour
1 1/2 c warm water -mix a bit, let yeast proof
-mix together
3 1/3- 4 cups flour, gradually add in, make a smooth/soft dough. Kneed 'till smooth.
Place in greased bowl, rise 1.25 hours.
Punch and divide.
Make 2 braids, put on greased cookie sheet.
Rise 40 minutes.
Brush with milk, sprinkle with sugar.
Bake at 375 for 20-25 min or 'till brown.

"What now mama" game

I started a game a long time ago with my kids when I want them to do a lot of work, happily, in a short time.

Here are the rules:

Mom brings a bag of candy like M n Ms, Skittles, Reese's Pieces, etc. (I have also used pennies.)

She declares a start to the game and calls all the children to her.

She declares that they shall do as you say. If they do as you say, they come back to mom and say, "what now mama? (mom?)" and you thank them with words and hand them a piece of candy. Then you give them another task.

I have 6 kids so this can get chaotic. I added another rule last time.

If they interrupt anyone (you or another sibling) they shall play the game with zero rewards.

I will typically do some fast and furious tiding up this way. Our kitchen island is 6'x6'. VERY large and get's VERY full of junk. Also good for tiding up living rooms and dining rooms, etc. Especially places where you know what goes where but you don't want to do all the running around to put it all away.

It usually only lasts for 45 minutes or so. I start to run out of things to tell them to do and it hurts my brain to think of so many things so fast.

Some of them stash the candy for when they are finished and some eat it right away.

They like this much better than the non-candy version which I do use sometimes. I will pick one or two and nominate them for the "what now mama game with no candy". They are basically my slave 'till I tell them, "thank you, you can go." They really don't seem to mind that too much. They really need to know when the end will be, then they can cope with it much better.

The main purpose is to get things cleaned up right away, but also to get the kids in the habit of being polite, saying thank you and making them ask if you need help.

It's easier than beating them with a broom...

Silly Saturday

...just a few things from today.

-7am oldest thinks she has to puke, she doesn't, we go back to bed
-took kids to choir practice
-had girlfriend over for a short chat
-got stood up by a customer
-customer called back, he wants to meet me in 7 minutes at the gas station
-bailed on friend to run to said customer to meet him on time
-said customer decided he couldn't pay me all the money he owed and paid only half
-I let him get away with it
-picked up my nephews
-dropped them off at home and went to get my book I forgot at choir practice
-got home and heard something next to me, I saw something move and freaked out, it was one of our cats, she had stowed away in the van
-ate a gingerbread cookie, first "meal of the day"
-got a call about our baby crib
-asked husband to get baby crib ready
-got upset
-cried
-husband hugged me
-husband solved the problem
-got out split pea soup of the freezer for dinner, thawed it
-ate 2nd meal of the day, yes another cookie
-called a bunch of customers who owed me money to make up for earlier
-lady came to pick up crib for a 15 year old mother
-split pea soup is actually refried beans, kids ate beans and chips for dinner
-close by customer came over to pay his bill
-took kids and nephews to church
-home again, home again, jiggity jig
(maybe I should feed myself proper food now)

Salted Chocolate Caramels (with goat milk)

Yesterday it finally REALLY SNOWED at our house. I wasn't sure if we still lived in Alaska this winter. But now we're actually in real winter and not in this limbo state of fake winter/fake fall brown ugliness. I was having a hard time getting my head into the Christmas spirit where I go crazy in the kitchen and all I want to do is bake and sew.

I am not going to re-invent the wheel for this blog. I'm going to re-post the one I used and turned out a perfect chocolaty gooey gourmet tootsie roll with salt on top.

Please let me know if the link quits or won't work, I copied down the recipe so I can re-post it.


Goats for Gods Glory: Salted Chocolate Caramel

Caramels aren't as hard as I thought they would be. I wrapped mine differently than they did.

Bing Crosby was there too, he helped.

Wishing you and yours a white Christmas too.

Rib Sticking Pancakes

As I posted in the Hummus Pizza post, we have begun the Advent Fast. Advent isn't as difficult as Lent. Partly because it's not been since August since we had our last fasting time and that was only a short 2 week fast. Also because there is a lot of fish allowed during this fast and that makes it much easier.

I love making soup when we're fasting because I can sneak in a lot of grains and legumes in with vegetables. As long as I add enough spices and salt, it always tastes fine. But we miss certain comfort foods and pancakes is definitely a comfort food. But what to do when you can't fry up some sausage patties to go with them and can't add eggs to the cakes? A not too impressive dinner. It might stick in our bellies for an hour or so but then hunger strikes again. I am not typically a fan of making 2 suppers.

Today I was determined to make a pancake recipe that was:
a) tastes good!
b) protein rich, and will last 'till bed time
c) vegan

When we're not fasting I have a killer sourdough recipe, and the sourdough is bonafide old crusty sourdough from 100+ years ago. Or so my mom always said. But it calls for quite a few eggs and I have substituted with apple sauce (my go-to substitute for eggs in baked goods while fasting) but it didn't have the same chemical properties with out the eggs and didn't have the texture I like in pancakes.

Today I studied about 5 recipes then made up my own. I took my sisters favorite pumpkin pancake recipe (that happens to be vegan), another vegan recipe, a high protein recipe and a very basic pancake recipe. When looking at multiple recipes you can see similarities in them and what the chemical make up usually is. Here's what I saw with pancakes today per cup of flour needs: one cup of liquid, 1tsp salt, 2 tsp bkg powder. So if you need to adjust your recipe, keep that in mind.

So here's what I made. Next time I'll make a larger batch and start with more whole grain soaked flour the day before, but what I did make today fed our family of 8 a decent meal.

I haven't made these enough to be an expert and haven't tried all the varieties that I will list, but next time I'm using pumpkin.

Rib Sticking Pancakes (Banana, Pumpkin or Apple)

2 cups whole grain flour (millet, spelt, soft wheat, hard wheat, brown rice, etc)
2 cups water
-soak the night before-
2T flax seeds ground
4 t salt
2 scoops protein powder (I have GenSoy, it's expensive and this is a GREAT way to use that stuff as you can't taste it in these and that's a good thing!)
1 1/2 cups mashed bananas (next time I'm going to use a 15 oz can of pumpkin or you could try a cup or two of applesauce)
1 1/2 c water
1 1/2 c sweetened vanilla almond milk (if you don't have this use what ever milk and add a touch more sugar if it's not sweetened and 2 tsp of vanilla)
1/2 c olive oil
1/3 oats, ground
1/3 millet, ground
1/4 c sugar
2 1/2 c white flour (this is where I had to really stretch it and will use more wheat flour rather than white next time)

Before frying mix together then add to the batter:
1/2 c water
2 T baking powder
2 t baking soda

Fry up.

Add berries if you wish or if you're a nice mom like my sister is you can add chocolate chips. Those would be really good with the banana or pumpkin.

Note: I am really hoping that I took good notes while making this. The whole time I was focusing on trying to keep my balance of everything, write it down and add more stuff to the batter or we wouldn't have enough for dinner! Your batter should look like pancake batter! If it's too thick or too soupy, adjust by adding more flour or liquid. Apple sauce will usually have more water content than bananas or pumpkin.

Vegan, Whole Grain, High Protein, Banana, Fasting Pancakes

Hummus Pizza

Vegan meals are on my mind, so is loosing weight. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Except that hopefully I can loose some weight eating vegan for a month or so...

First: We began our Advent today, so that's why I'm thinking vegan. We'll go 40 days (sans Thanksgiving at the in-laws) eating no dairy or meat. Most of our kids observe this fast as well, except the littles.

Second: One of my very good friends is getting married! And wants me to be her matron of honor! I am, obviously, honored. But I also have been off the "pregnancy" diet, as I call it, for 4 years now, and can no longer rely on my sweet baby's gestation period helping me shed many, many pounds of unwanted fat. Alas, if I want to shed my fat, I'm on my own, no baby in the womb to help me these days. (Why do you think I have had so many kids? Very good pregnancies!)

So, here I am already somewhat entrenched in my second winter of gym membership. I go 1x per week lately, if I'm lucky. If I hope to loose just a couple inches before the wedding, still no date but maybe February, I'd better be getting my weight lifting on and re-vamping better food habits. Last winter I did great! That's because I was a new gym member and I had a great personal trainer I met with 2x per week. I also had a cool program to enter food data into so it made me aware of my eating habits. I know my very worst habit is eating after kids go to bed, and pizza is my very favorite midnight snack. That's TERRIBLE for someone watching the waist line, but never-the-less, when that time of night rolls around my will power is gone and munchies power takes over.
The other night the idea of hummus pizza struck me, it sounded delicious in my brain and sure enough there are many people who have made and blogged about the delicious treat. Mostly vegans. I did some scouring around and then made up my own.

I had soaked 4 cups of whole grain flour (including prairie gold wheat, spelt, millet, rye, hard wheat, etc) with 4 cups of water last night. The grain had been ground already and I have recently discovered how much better grains are for you if you can soak them overnight. Ground and soaked (to me) seems just as good, so I'm trying to do that before bread baking now. I knew that today I wanted to make either pancakes or pizza...I made both. We are really secret hobbits. We had first supper and second supper. Anyway, I soaked the flour then divided it evenly this morning when I couldn't decide on one and chose to make both. I won't go into the details of the pizza crust as there are hundreds out there and it's just a basic formula of oil, water, salt, sugar and flour. Don't forget the oil. I made our basic bread recipe but added more oil then normal and let it rise coated in oil rather than flour. Then divided into 5 pans.

Oh, the other thing about this recipe. My hubby doesn't love hummus. If I eat it he usually avoids it unless he has to eat it for some reason (like it's on his pizza) but I didn't really want him knowing what it was. So I only did a thin layer. If you love it, add more! Also that's the reason I pre-spread the crust with garlic oil and also why I added the nutritional yeast flakes, though it did taste very good.

Vegan Hummus Pizza

-Pizza crust, what ever kind you like. I used dough I had made today.
-Smart Balance or Earth Balance, a tablespoon or so per pizza, melt add garlic powder, parsley and oregano.
-Spread the "butter" (if you eat butter, for Pete sake, use butter!) onto crusts, go onto the edges with it.
-Take hummus (I had some homemade, cheapest!) and be sure it's smooth and spreadable. Mine needed a bit of olive oil added to it and mine wasn't garlic-y enough so I added more garlic powder.
-Roast your peppers: This was my first time roasting peppers...I have seriously been missing out! Slice up, throw on a pan, douse in olive oil, sprinkle salt, roast at 400-450 for 15-30 min. Yum! I only used about 1 pepper per 1/2 of each pizza.
-Mushrooms: hubby loves mushrooms and I the peppers, each pizza is 1/2 and 1/2. Slice and place mushrooms.
-Onion (RED!): it doesn't matter what color, red is pretty. I used one onion for 5 pizzas but I only barley "decorated" husband's side with them, he's not a big onion fan.
-Kalamata olives: Be sure you have these! I didn't . I will be buying some and adding them to the pizzas in the future. You really don't need them, I just had a piece with out and it was sooooo good.

Since I wanted to freeze these pizzas and didn't really know how with raw dough, I pre-baked them. Then I'll freeze them on the pan, then I'll pop them off and wrap them in saran wrap. Thanks Laura for the tip on that.

3 pizzas ready to bake, could have used more mushrooms.

4 in the oven. These smelled soooo good.

I had made 5 pizzas and the kids had helped me assemble them. I couldn't very well tell them they couldn't have any, they are our midnight snacks, so I cut up one and the big kids and I and hubby enjoyed a piece or two. I asked hubby what he thought (hoping the hummus wasn't too obvious.) He claimed that his friend had used this recipe once. "What recipe?" I asked. "Making the fake cheese stuff as the base of the pizza." He said. Well, that was good enough for me, it was his way of saying he approved and it wasn't terrible and possibly even good. He is NOT a fan of my experimenting, in fact tonight he was quite skeptical of my pancakes I had made when I told them they had protein in them. (I'll post that recipe later.) He doesn't like it when I do silly things like add cabbage to a giant pot of chili and burn the giant said pot of chili then call it, "smoked chili". What's funny is that a friend thought I was serious and loved the chili. It wasn't over burned and I did NOT scrape the burned parts into the rest of the pot, I learned that lesson a long time ago.

The pizza we "tested". Not too bad for no cheese or peperoni!

So, we're set with 4 midnight snacks with a few less grams of fat than our standard frozen pizza from the grocery store. Now to drag myself to the gym more than once per week...